Birthdays and pretty purple dresses
I turned 29 last week.
Apparently, I’m supposed to be freaking out that I’m “nearly 30”. Well, that hasn’t happened yet so I’m in denial, or it’s still on the way. Or maybe, it’s not going to happen at all?
Birthdays are just an arbitrary milestone. Just one of the ways we can measure our lives. But there are so many other ways too.
What if we measured our lives by our own personal milestones, rather than the number of years that have passed? We might be happier if we paid more attention to the things we’re doing, rather than the age we are when we do them.
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?
Satchel Paige
In the travel blogging world I’m constantly bombarded by messages to quit my job and travel, to travel while I’m young, to not settle before I’ve travelled, or even to never settle at all. Well I tell you what, my parents “settled” when they were young, and now they’re in their 50s and travelling the world. Search for family travel blogs and you won’t be short of results. The thing is, we all do things at different paces and at different times in our lives. There is absolutely no one right way.
So why do birthdays make us nervous?
Birthdays are a milestone, a way to take stock of what we’re doing. Where we’ve come from and where we want to be. The problem comes when we feel like we’re not at the point we should be.
But according to who? Comparison to others, or what you wanted to be doing but haven’t yet achieved? Maybe it’s how you perceive you’re being judged by others?
I think it’s time we stop worrying about what we’re doing in life based on any milestones other than our own path. If you’re still moving forward, in whatever direction at whatever time, then that’s good enough.
Whatever you’re doing right now, that’s where you’re at. There is never going to be a perfect time for things to happen to you, and a perfect time for you to do things.
This article I read earlier in the year really hit home about how we need to stop being so concerned if we haven’t quite made it to where we think we should be.
Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90 … time is a concept that humans created
Yoko Ono
Two years ago there was a life I thought I wanted, and I couldn’t have it. Now I’m living a life that I wouldn’t want to have any other way. If I’d had it two years ago, would it have worked? Would I have realised it? Would I have achieved as much as I feel I have since I hit the bottom of that downward slope? I have no answers to these questions, I just wish that I had known that I didn’t need answers then. I needed trust that it would all be ok.
Not everyone has the privilege of getting older. For those that do, our lives ebb and flow and take many forms. We seem to be afraid of change, and yet, we would hate it if everything always stayed the same. Do you seriously want to be your 18 year old self again? I definitely don’t!
Birthdays should be an excuse to have a celebration, not a reason to take stock and stress about hasn’t happened to us by a certain age. Next time you have a birthday just remember, it’ll all happen when it’s ready.
Do you worry about getting older?
Sonja x
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Absolutely love the thought of measuring your life in other kinds of milestones! (Like getting engaged or having a baby!) 😉
And I am also so sick of hearing the “don’t settle down, travel, etc” stuff. It’s crazy! Like, you’re as young as you feel like you are! Years arent the only way to measure our lives!
Great post – happy birthday!!! 😀
Thank you!! I think it’s you’re doing what’s right for you that’s the most important thing. It’s when you’re deeply unhappy and not that maybe you should change it! When I think of all the things I’ve done it makes so much more sense to measure that then the years I’ve done them in!
Happy Birthday. You have at least 50 more to come before you have to start worrying!
Thank you! And here’s hoping haha.